The Big Elephant The subject of love permeates the very fabric of society all throughout history - in songs, poems, art, tragedy and human drama. Kings have abdicated over love and empires have crumbled over love. It's in your face! But philosophers are surprisingly silent about this all-powerful and all-consuming emotion. All perhaps, except Schopenhauer.
His Life Schopenhauer found love elusive. He lived life alone and died alone - even though he had a few unfulfilled romantic episodes in his life. This is perhaps why he thinks love is the be-all and end-all of life - for he was searching for love all his life, and perhaps remained unhappy for not finding it. Because love is all-pervasive and intoxicatingly compelling, Schopenhauer deemed it natural to have our lives revolve around it.
to be happy, Schopenhauer acknowledges the elephant in the living room: LOVE
On Happiness We pursue love because we want to be happy. But Schopenhauer claims that notion to be an illusion. We pursue love because unconsciously, love gives us the sexual urge to continue the species - no matter how romantic it might feel. Schopenhauer says we all default to love, even if it only serves as a pre-text to biology - that natural instincts far outweigh reason. Love has nothing to do with happiness - a contradiction to his feeling lonely because he could not find love.
Ending Thoughts I'm not exactly sure if I agree with Schopenhauer about love, happiness and the quest for genetic immortality. Why? Because nowadays, couples choose to live life together with no children. They simply want to be with each other and grow old together. For this, it must be love. And if you're into this relationship, then you must be happy - until you break-up. Sorry, I have to pop the fairytale bubble, but that's life - c'est la vie.
An Invitation I don't think these 6 philosophers have a monopoly on knowing what it takes to be happy. We all have our own take on it. Want to share yours? By sharing, I may feature your philosophy on this site together with other compelling philosophies on pursuing happiness. If you think what you have to share is worthwhile, don't be shy.
Schopenhauer on Love Philosophy: A Guide to Happiness
Reader Comments:
Mark Mark Ratcliff Photography (Aug 29, 2020) I know several couples who've chosen not to have children yet they've found a replacement - man's best friend. I adore dogs, but their personification and elevation across childless society are.... interesting to say the least, and sometimes even a little disturbing.
It's obvious that emotional/hormonal desire for procreation and children is still there in childless couples but it's just directed towards different things - dogs, cats, personal care, wealth accumulation etc.
Also, I think the growing awareness of understanding and belief that our actions and ideas today will live on without them is comforting for many in a future devoid of their own children (see Richard Dawkins and his take on memes in The Selfish Gene).
Illusion, delusion, or both? Perhaps Schopenhauer was upset not because he thought love would make him happy, just that he wanted to experience what it was like... who knows, it may have changed his mind! 🙂
Grant (Aug 28, 2020) I think maybe love is subjective in that it depends on an individual's make up and that if say when you see 2 people stay together for a long time means most of their needs might be met through a close understanding of being together and whilst not necessarily being strong romantic love it permeates many thoughts and needs. So many different ideals and ideas that need to meld. I believe many different aspects need to work. Many people stay together not out of love so much but security with emotion and financial reasoning. Some people might think its healthy to be together more constantly while others need room and everything in between. Ultimately I think love is a complex amount of feelings and desires giving more than taking etc etc etc. Its definition is for me therefore subjective. One person's idea of love might be completely different to another's. Main things in life are health and happiness and if you're happy without love then your brain is wired differently to someone who feels more need for the comfort love can afford. And young love is so different to old love. So get down get funky and as Stephen Stills once sang, "If you can't be with the one you love, then love the one you're with." 🙂🙂
TheLoneRider (Aug 28, 2020) You touched-off on 2 powerful aspects of a relationship - purpose and distance. I believe every relationship serves a purpose to both parties, regardless how unknowable or abstract. When that purpose is met, then the partner feels the need to move on - too bad for the other partner whose need hasn't been met yet and still feels to cling on. Additionally, every relationship (friendship, romantic, family, etc.) has an optimum distance - you need to vigilantly find that distance. Too far, and you feel the need to be more intimate. Too close and you feel choked. Different distance for everyone. And that distance also shifts for every person in different times of the relationship. Love is a precarious tight-wire act. 🙂
(Aug 31, 2020) Nietzsche claims that no one would not even know what happiness is until he suffers first. Makes sense. If you had been happy all your life, you wouldn't know that your state of being is happiness. But is this really a necessary process?....more »»
(Aug 30, 2020) Surya Chakra absorbs energy from the sun, heats up the body, and clears all energy channels in the stomach for increased digestive metabolism. Intestinal diseases cannot take place when this chakra is activated. The Sankalpa aspect of this chakra manifests your desires....more »»
Chiang Mai INFORMATION
Chiang Mai Map
Chiang Mai, Thailand
IMPORTANT PLACES
Bus Station Train Station Chiang Mai International Airport Nong Buak Hard Park - free yoga classes daily
HOTEL
Arun Dara Villa - 7 exclusive rooms, 1 swimming pool for every room, grand opening
Nawa Sheeva Hotel - big rooms, high ceiling, salt-water pool, restaurant, cafe
Nawa Saraan Hotel - low density (4 spacious rooms), stone garden setting, Koi fish pond, Old City location
Arun Suite - 3 bedrooms in a 3-storie guesthouse within Old City, ideal for families
MOTORBIKE RENTAL
Tawan Bike - motorcycle rental | +66 91 635 2863 | Si Phum, Mueang Chiang Mai District, Chiang Mai 50200
Chiang Mai FYI / Tips
crop-burning season in Chiang Mai is between late Feb to early April. But laws change everytime. This year, 2019, there is a 61-day ban on burning so the farmers started burning early. When my plane was approaching Chiang Mai on Jan 24, 2019, there was already a thick blanket of smog covering the entire city (and beyond). But within the city itself, you won't feel it (but that doesn't mean the air is healthy). To monitor air conditions in real time, refer to site: Chiang Mai Air Pollution: Real-time Air Quality Index (AQI)
hot season begins March and lasts until June
wet season begins July and lasts until September
best time to visit Chiang Mai is mid-September to mid-February - after the monsoon and before the burning
you have to try Khao Soi, this is north Thailand's culinary staple
the tourist area where most of the hotels, restaurants, ticket offices, tour operators are, is located in the Old City
to exchange your dollars to Thai Baht, the Super Rich Money Exchange give the best rates. There are many branches scattered around Chiang Mai
get a red cab (songthao) outside the train station for Baht 50 (instead of paying B100 if inside the train station) to Old City - if you haggle nicely enough...I did!
shared red taxi (songthao) - B30 standard fare plying all over Old City
for only B50/day, best to rent a bike to go around the Old City - it's a 2.5km2 with lots to discover
FREE daily yoga classes from 9:00am to 10:15am at Nong Buak Hard Park (southwest corner of Old City). Resident and passing-through teachers take turns conducting yoga classes.
Blues/Jazz Bars in Chiang Mai
North Gate Jazz Coop - at Chang Phueg Gate, great Tuesday jam session, Blues on Sundays at 11pm by the Chiang Mai Blues band
Boy Blues Bar - at the Night Bazaar. Mondays at 9:30pm is open mic
My Secret Cafe - near Wat Phra Singh. Tuesdays at 7:30pm for the changing front-act and 9:00pm for the Panic Band
Taphae East - 88 Thapae Rd. (just north of Night Bazaar). Fridays at 9:30pm by Chiang Mai Blues Band
Chiang Mai Cost Index
B60 Chiang beer
B250 1 hour drop-in yoga session
B200 one hour Thai body massage at WAYA Massage(highly recommended)
B50 noodle soup with meat
B50 coffee
B40 pad thai
B30/kilo wash-only laundry
B50/kilo wash+iron laundry
B100-150 dorm bed/night
B250 fan room/night
B30 internet cafe/hour
B170-190 Movies Sat-Sun and public holidays
B130-150 Movies weekdays
B100 Movies Wednesdays (movie discount day)
B750 1/2 day Thai cooking lessons
B900-1000 1 full day Thai cooking lessons
B400 Muay Thai boxing ticket
B2500 starting room rate at the luxury hotel, Nawa Sheeva(highly recommended)
Transportation
B450 bus, Chiang Mai to Bangkok
B160-180 bus, Chiang Mai to Pai
B1250 bus, Chiang Mai to Luang Prabang
B1650 slow boat, Chiang Mai to Luang Prabang
B210 bus, Chiang Mai to Chiang Rai, 3-4 hours
B360 Green VIP bus, Chiang Mai to Mae Sai (Thai border town for visa run to Tachileik, Myanmar)
B50 bicycle rental, 24 hours
B200 motorbike rental, 24 hours
B273 #51 sleeping train from Bangkok to Chiang Mai
Book Online - direct booking with State Railway of Thailand. Best to register first. If going to BKK from CNX, click "Northern Line".
note -- big difference between booking direct with the State Railway and booking with an online 3rd party agent. 12GO was charging B1330 for the same trip that only cost me B941 with the State Railway.
note -- Oct 2022, I took the #10 Train from CNX to BKK, upper berth, 2nd class, a/c, sleeper, B941. The train was clean, fast, comfortable and modern. If you have heavy luggage that will cost more money in flight checkin, I would suggest this train. Otherwise, the flight now is so much cheaper it doesn't even make sense to take the bus or train.
Bangkok to Chiang Mai by Train from Bang Sue Train Station
10:22pm - #51 Train, arrive Chiang Mai 12:10pm, sleeper, 3rd class B270 (non sleeper), 2nd class B438, B728 upper deck, B798 lower deck
Loei to Chiang Mai by Bus
From Loei town center, take a tuk-tuk ride to the bus station, B30. There is only one bus station.
As of June 28, 2020 (still on Covid schedule), there are only 3 night trips: 8:30pm, 9:30pm and 12 midnight. 9 hours, B470.
The bus makes the following stops at the following times from a 9pm Loei departure: Phu Ruea (9:50pm), Phitsanulok (12:40am), Uttradit (2:20am), Lampang (4:35am)
Final bus stop is at the Red Bus Arcade, Chiang Mai, 9 hour-trip, arriving 6am (from 9pm Loei departure).
Take a red songthaew to Old City, B50. They'll try to charge you B100, but they'll take B50 (just assure the driver you won't tell the other passengers).
How to Get a 60-Day Thai Tourist Visa and then Extend by another 30 Days
This process is BEFORE Covid 19. Not sure what it is now.
60-Day Thai Tourist Visa
NOTE: There is no need to go back to your country to get the Thai tourist visa. Any major city with a Thai Embassy will do. Apparently there is also no need to have an invitation from a Thai establishment to justify the visa.
Bring the following to the Thai embassy:
a) proof of money (bank statement will suffice)
b) flight booking to Thailand
c) onward flight back to your country from Thailand
d) filled-in tourist visa form
e) 2 passport pictures
f) hotel booking in Thailand (they didn't ask me for this but better be safe)
g) passport with at least 6 months validity
After handing over all the documents, they will ask you to come pick your passport with the visa the following day from 4 to 5pm. That's it!
NOTE: after 2 successful attempts, I was already questioned the 3rd time.
30-Day Extension
NOTE: When your 60-day visa is close to expiry and you want to extend your stay. No need to leave Thailand.
bring the following to the Immigration Office:
a) passport (make sure your Tourist Visa hasn't expired yet)
b) Baht 1900
c) photocopy of your passport + visa duration date stamp + TM6 card (white immigration card) and sign all the copies
d) completed TM7 visa extension form (available at the Immigration Office)
e) one 4cmx6cm passport picture
submit the above to the Front Desk. They will give you a stub with your number on it. Take a seat and wait for your number to be called
when your number is called, your picture will be taken. Then go back to your seat. They will call you again.
when they call you again, they'll give you your passport with your extended visa. That's it!
when there are no lines, the whole process can take only 10 minutes
arrive early - in case there is a snag (visa snag, documentation snag, transport ticket snag, etc.), you will have ample time to troubleshoot the problem if you arrive early (to the airport, to the bus terminal, etc.)
put detailed itinerary on the Calendar apps of your smart-phone according to timelines - this is where you do all your thinking and planning. Once written down, you don't have to think anymore while you are on the journey...you just follow the steps. This frees your mind for something else that might happen while you are already en route
avoiding scams - as a general rule, I ignore the touts or anyone I don't know who call out to me. The calling comes in many forms - "Hi! Where are you from?", "Excuse me! Excuse me!", "Where are you going?". I don't look them in the eye and I remain non-verbal with them. If you reply to them, you just gave them an 'in' to hound you. In order not to look rude, I smile and wave the 'not interested' hand to them, without looking at them.
power bank - hand-carry your power bank. Do not check it in. You can be called in when you are already inside the plane to go all the way to the loading dock so you can personally remove the power bank...and chances are, you'll have to surrender it to them. And you might delay the plane departure!