CHIANG MAI RECOMMENDATIONS
Nawa Saraan Healing Space
retreats | workshops
meetings | gatherings
Old City, Chiangmai
Dec 8, 2020
Location : My Secret Cafe, Chiang Mai, Thailand
Everybody but Me
Within our small crew gathered at a music bar, Muffin Man rises up from his chair, comes across to our table, and gives everybody a piece of his muffin - everybody except me. Two girls noticed, and one of them gave me half of hers. Not sure if it was deliberate, but I was ruffled. Was he telling me I was a lesser mortal?
Triggered, my knee-jerk reaction was either of 2 things:
- completely ignore him henceforth (but creates tension in the group)
- order the most expensive cake and have it given to him (which makes me an outcast)
Given my awareness, I knew neither was acceptable nor justified - that was just my old self talking. But still, I couldn't let it pass. It felt like a cop-out to go yogic and offer the other cheek when something more productive could be done.
Finding Middle Ground
I didn't want to upset the prevailing good vibe by calling his attention to it and create tension, but I couldn't just ignore it either. How to find middle ground? It was a problem-solving challenge.
When the gig was finished and everybody was about to leave, I stood up, smiling and light-heartedly told him in front of everybody,
"I will now refer to you as Muffin Man. When you gave everyone a piece of your muffin and completely ignored me, I began to wonder if I should change my underarm spray."
Everybody got a good laugh. I got my point across and tension dissipated. We all went home in peace. The day was saved. More importantly, this new acquaintance (instead of dying on its tracks), can morph into friendship.
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