Cancel Culture Attack

Location : Chiang Mai, Thailand

NOTE: this article is NOT about the nasty exchanges that happened but more about insights gained and lessons learned from that explosive episode.

Neo-McCarthyism
These are crazy times and a neo-McCarthyism called Cancel Culture is warping the US social landscape and finding it's way across the oceans and into Thailand. But what exactly is Cancel Culture? I didn't even know this word until a friend messaged me and said, "You're a victim of Cancel Culture". I said, "Cancel what?" I had to look it up.

What is Cancel Culture?
Cancel Culture is a corrosive social cancer that eats up its host - society itself. It's a rabid attack by a loud minority to collectively cancel you out by riling up the public against you - cancel you out of your career, out of your social circle, out of family and out of society. You can be attacked for almost anything they deem unacceptable - a harmless tweet from years back, a remark taken out of context, or even from a fabricated lie. When you'd been pushed out of the grid in shame, you'd been CANCELED. Victims lose their jobs, careers are shattered, friendships are broken, families are torn and some take their own lives. It creates a chilling climate of fear and produces a paralyzing effect on society at large. It feels like walking on a minefield - even the most benevolent gesture can be weaponized against you. Worse, mainstream society, for fear of this vicious attack, plays along and casts innocent victims as collateral damage. Yes, this is f$#%king serious!

This plague has spread like a virus and polarized US society on what just might become a civil war. There is now talk of cessation from the union to create a separate country called the Republic of America.

getting 'CANCELED'

How It All Began for Me
Before you read any further, this is NOT about the nasty exchanges that happened, but about the events that led to it (as a background).

An acquaintance complained about a sore back. In my eagerness to help, I gave her a loud chopping massage on the back - like what barbers do. It was done in an open public area at Thapae Gate in front of all our common friends - hardly what you would call a creepy massage. It made her feel uncomfortable but made no mention of it. I had no clue. It wasn't about the massage but about her trauma history - she said so herself. While she didn't voice that out, she told everyone else behind my back that I gave her a 'creepy massage'.

My mistake was not having asked her first - that's my only mistake. It spread like wildfire that I gave her a creepy massage. People just jumped in without verifying what exactly happened. Before you know it, I was already the sexual predator. Yes, as absurd as it sounds, that's how it all began. The lady has since apologized and fully retracted what was said. But another lady, knowing fully well that there was already an apology and a retraction, used that incident as a pretext to maliciously fabricate lies to smear my character.

I have done nothing wrong and I'm being publicly attacked? It was already too much for me. I have nothing to hide, so I aggressively fought back by publicly posting a play-by-play of what happened, of behind-the-scenes manipulation by my attacker and backed it up with telling and powerful screenshots. When given compelling proof, the community slowly morphed and began to see things in clear light. People have come forward in support - some were not even close friends, just acquaintances. This is when my attackers stood silent.

Why Me?
I'd like to think I live a very decent life where I sleep well knowing I didn't short-change anyone. I make an effort to live in harmony with everyone and everything around me. I wasn't always this way. But with my yoga practice, I see clearly in no uncertain terms that the optimum way to live is to stay on the positive side.

So, that being the case, why is this firestorm happening to me? I could think of a lot of people more deserving of this nightmare. Why me? I can only speculate, some speculation bordering on arrogance.

1. Strong opinions - it's safer to keep strong opinions to yourself. I can't. Some people are inadvertently ruffled by that. It's human nature - it's easier to hate someone who is 'opinionated' than someone who has 'no opinion'.
2. I asked for it - I've always considered it a waste of space if I went through life not going through some very powerful human experiences. Would you like to go through life not knowing what it feels like to fall madly in love? Or go through life not experiencing what it's like to have your heart broken into a million different bits? And this firestorm is no less powerful than those, despite its nasty unpleasantness. That is exactly how I see it. I asked for it, now I got it.
3. Because it had to happen and I am uniquely qualified to take it - yes, it sounds arrogant, but I have to be honest with how I see things - arrogant or not. I have seen men victimized by this Cancel Culture for no wrong-doing. Instead of fighting back, they cowered, took their tail between their legs and cocooned in a cave until it was safe to come out. I actually met one who stayed out of the radar for 3 years! When he came out, he was irreversibly damaged. Life was never the same. It was like walking with a permanent limp.
   
   My yoga/meditation practice has kept me strong - strong enough to weather this onslaught with awareness that everything is impermanent. Instead of being bent, twisted and damaged, I came out of this a much stronger individual.
   
   It had to happen to me because I will talk about it and expose the social cancer in our midst that people may not even be aware of.
4. Like me or hate me - people who know me either like me or hate me. I don't come across as neutral. Those who don't like me, found their chance to jump in and join the feeding frenzy.
5. Because I'm genuinely happy and they are not - again, that's human nature. Friends will desire your well-being and happiness as long as it does not exceed theirs.

Shifting Reaction
Through the entire process of this firestorm, my reaction/feelings shifted and morphed from one form to another. I remained aware of this gradual and sometimes oscillating shift.

1. Angry - at first, I was very angry and wanted to inflict pain and retribution to everyone out to harm me
2. Wanting it to stop - after a week or so, the anger shifted into a genuine desire to make the madness stop. Yes, it was extremely unpleasant but also, it made no utter sense. It was simply mindless madness - ironically from 'conscious' people who are 'aware' and 'mindful'. I just wanted people to begin thinking critically and shed this mob-mentality.
3. Let it burn - finally, instead of making efforts to make it stop, I simply let go and let it burn as much as it needs to - I have the strength to carry on, I have the endurance to stay for the long haul, and I'm willing to take the heat. Let it burn until there is nothing left to burn. I'll even pour gasoline if need be. Only then can new growth happen and the healing commence.

Insight Gained
To most victims, such an unpleasant experience is best swept under the rug and forgotten - moving on with life (however damaged). But, if you look back mindfully and examine the play-by-play and understand the domino-principle of cause-and-effect, this otherwise traumatic experience can be a treasure trove of powerful lessons and insight.

1. Real friends - I have always maintained that your real friends are those who defend you when you are being mud-slinged behind your back. Let me add to that. Real friends are the ones who step forward and let their support be publicly known. There is always a risk that an angry mob will attack them in turn. It takes strength, integrity and courage on their part to assume this risk.
   
   And in a triumph of the human spirit, some people who were not even close friends but merely acquaintances, also stepped forward to shed light on the warped narrative. They didn't do it out of friendship, but out of integrity and strength of their character.
   
   And to the very few who stepped forward and exhibited resolve, words are not enough to convey my gratitude and my unflinching support when your time of need comes.
2. Jaded about Humanity? - without mindful thinking, it's easy to be jaded and simply withdraw from people - because the people you shared good times with were nowhere to be found during the firestorm. It's easy to feel betrayed. But this is a repeating pattern across human history. It cannot be their fault. I simply look at people-behavior in a more simplistic way - they behaved that way because it's in their nature...through millions of years of genetic programming. I simply have to realign my expectation - to make it real instead of sentimental.
   
   So, what about the people then who stepped forward? In the same way we all evolve to self-realization, these people have transcended that primordial programming and have acted with critical thinking and resolve. Again, it makes them a cut higher from the rest.
3. Benevolent universe - almost nightly, a good part of my meditation is a heart-to-heart talk with my universe, my guides and all the deities, sages, saints and seers. While I remain willing to stand my ground knowing I have done nothing wrong, I humble myself and ask for the following:
   
   1) strength - to carry on
   2) stamina - to go the distance
   3) courage - to take the heat
   4) wisdom - to make right decisions
   5) tethered to my universe - so I don't feel alone fighting a lonely war
   
   I would wake up in the middle of the night with an Aha Moment on my next move. As I fight the battle, I could feel my strength getting amplified (at some point, I asked myself if I was beginning to enjoy this). In a few of my unguarded moments, something gets triggered and I suddenly feel I wasn't in this alone - I knew I was being looked after. The exhilaration sometimes felt like riding the chariot of the Gods. Once again, I felt the power of the Big Bang behind me. I felt unstoppable.
4. Negotiating from a position of strength - if I am trapped into a corner, I would lash out and claw myself out regardless who gets hurt or how they get hurt. It's survival. That's when I'm dangerous where even I cannot control my instincts.
   
   However, from a position of strength, when I know I have enough ammunition to destroy the enemy, I realized it was easier to be more tolerant and forgiving. Example? If I were a lethal martial arts expert and some dickhead makes fun of me, I can easily laugh it off and walk away not feeling chicken. Why? Because I know I could readily break every bone in his body - without proving it.
5. Equanimity within a firestorm - being in the middle of this firestorm when I was consumed by anger, the hardest thing to do was to observe this explosive outrage with a calm and equanimous mind. Despite the raging turbulence, I stayed yogic and took it as the perfect test for equanimity. I tried - sometimes I could contain it, sometimes I could not (especially when the nervous impulses become overwhelming). But I remained aware. This mindfulness kept emotions from running amok. My ice bath practice where I observe pain and suffering while the freezing water from 40 kgs of ice electrified my entire body, certainly helped a lot. It was a different kind of pain, but it was the same equanimous mind observing it.
6. Going Tantric with emotional outbursts - before this firestorm, I was going deep into the Tibetan Buddhist practice of Tantric Yoga (no, it's not a pretext for sex the way it's being adversely practiced today). Instead of remaining equanimous from craving and aversion, tantra intentionally capitalizes on these powerful instincts to accelerate self-realization. In my bandhas, I used my rage to generate more heat. I used my anger to boost my prana vayu to shoot into a white light up to my head. I was already milking this trauma for everything it could do for me.
7. Yoga Outside the Mat - lastly, I was aware the whole time that this unpleasant episode was an ideal opportunity to apply everything I know about yoga. Do I run away or fight back? Do I act out of anger or out of a sincere desire to end this in a speedy, peaceful and productive manner? Can I remain equanimous while my nerve impulses are shooting all over my body? Again, this is authentic yoga - crying on the mat and laughing in the battlefield. Yoga goes way beyond perfecting an Upward Dog.
8. Absence of Critical Thinking - I used to think that when you throw logic or truth into anything confusing or misunderstood by others, clarity and rational thinking will prevail. I'd been proven wrong most of the time. People generally follow:
   
   a) what is comfortable to them - a good example is the rigged quiz show in the 1950s where the handsome and telegenic participant, Charles Van Doren kept winning - to the astonishment and awe of his charmed fan-base. It was later found out he was being given the answers in advance. When this was exposed, the public did not vilify Charles. They vilified the whistleblower. It was not comfortable to the adoring public to think that their beloved Charles was actually a cheat.
   
   b) triggers from their trauma history - I realized that many people who seem 'normal' as they go about their daily lives, carry with them a trauma or pain that somehow left them damaged. This is not obvious. But when this is triggered, rational thinking is abandoned. If it means following a herd-mentality to find safety in numbers, then that's how it will be.
   
   c) gossip mongers - even with some of my yoga friends who are self-admitted 'evolved', 'conscious' devotees of the spiritual path, default to gossip at some point in the conversation. They can't help it. I think gossip is somehow embedded in the human DNA - people generally default to this...perhaps with its roots in primordial times when it was an essential element to survival.
   
   
   d) cognitive dissonance - as simple as the truth might seem, they can't see or comprehend it - it deviates too much from what they have accepted as truth.
   
   e) karmic process - this is just me. Some people (or group of people) need to go through the process and learn it their way in their own time - not through some logic thrown at them by someone.

Apology and a Retraction
Is it over? No. I could have ended it sooner, but without any apology and a public retraction for their unfounded allegations, I walked away from the peace talk. They have to be accountable.

A Message from the Universe
Even before this firestorm, I already saw the writings on the wall. My Chiang Mai bubble-of-abundance was slowly disintegrating. Through no one's fault, I lost 2 of my best friends. I no longer felt the warmth of my benefactor-friend despite his continuing support - because I refused the vaccine? I don't know. My movie deal was rescinded due to a policy change. Yes, the paradise I architectured was crumbling.

This is a familiar pattern - a clear message from my benevolent universe that I should start packing up because Chiang Mai has already served its purpose and a new destination will soon be revealed. It didn't take long before that new destination became apparent.

Ending Thoughts
The past 3 years in Chiang Mai is perhaps the best life I've ever had. I enjoyed a free stay in a boutique hotel with use of all its facilities - bakery, cafe, yoga space, etc. I practiced yoga every day, I invited friends over for coffee gatherings, Pizza Nites, nightly blues music, free movies, etc. But as good as it was, I knew nothing was permanent, and a time will come I will have to say goodbye. Awareness of impermanence allowed me to enjoy the moment without being attached. Now, I brace myself to what awaits as I prepare for a new chapter. Thank you Chiang Mai, thank you M.

Below is the link to the play-by-play on how I was maliciously smeared and how I fought back.

The Open Letter to the Community

--- Gigit (TheLoneRider)
YOGA by Gigit | Learn English | Travel like a Nomad | Donation Bank

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