The Silent Killer has Arrived

Location: Loboc (municipality), Bohol (province), Philippines

Blog Chronology:

1. Cliff Dive at Molave Cove Feb 11, 2018
2. The Silent Killer has Arrived Feb 19-22, 2018
3. CT Scan Result Feb 23, 2018
4. The Silent Killer is Baaack! Jan 12, 2021

Angele Forgues
(Feb 14, 2018) "I agree with everyone who said you should get a doctor to make sure there aren't any internal issues. There are many silent killers even if you feel fine."

Vertigo on the 8th Day
My extension of Loboc was marked by an alarming development. Seven days into my recovery from the failed cliff-dive without any other symptom, I thought I was off the hook...that I have gone beyond the critical phase.

But on the 8th day, my head started spinning - I could not even stand up unless I hold on to something. This went on without reprieve for the rest of the day. I couldn't function. If there was nothing serious about my fall, I should be on the way to recovery. But a symptom like this appearing after 8 days? It means the hidden injury had 8 days to ferment, fester and grow to a point the symptom could no longer be hidden. I guess the silent killer has arrived. This was more frightening to me than the actual impact. Apparently, my self-healing wasn't enough.

everything around me was spinning

Worst Case Scenario
I panicked and thought about the worst case scenario - that I ruptured a blood vessel in my brain and I was having a slow bleeding so the symptom took 8 days to show up. What if I need surgery but I don't opt for it? Would I forever have this vertigo and not function normally? Goodbye travel? goodbye yoga? goodbye fitness? Is this acceptable? I was petrified.

Exercisable Options
I began looking at my options:

1. continue self-healing - my yoga or healing capability is powerful and saw me through many travails, but for this much damage, it is not enough. It needs more help...perhaps from the medical side.
2. seek medical help - I vowed not to resort to this but this was making more sense now that self-healing proved insufficient. Other people with more serious damage have come back in one piece. I hope this will be the case for me.
3. go to a cave, meditate and not come out - if all else fails and I am debilitated by this affliction, then this is my last card. Either I come out of the cave completely healed or I don't come out at all. I've had a good life with no regrets. And I'm not attached to existence. I'd just disappear without bothering anyone. No one would even feel my absence.
   
   But at this early point, I know I'm racing ahead of myself. I believe my situation can be helped by medical intervention + my self-healing. There is no need yet for such drastic action.

Medical Help
I asked help from doctors who once attended my yoga class. They were helpful and generous. I was told that I may be suffering from a brain concussion where bleeding hasn't stopped. The bleeding will cause pressure, blood clot, the vertigo I was feeling, and ultimately, if left untreated, death. One prescribed a drug that would contain damage on the brain nerve endings - but it won't stop the bleeding. I bought the drug. I was strongly advised to get a CT scan to determine the full extent of the injury.

What is CT (CAT) Scan
CT Scan is an imaging of bones, soft tissue and blood vessels without any of the organs overlayering themselves (unlike xray), so it provides a detailed and clear imagery of the internal body. It lays the groundwork for specific surgery (vs exploratory surgery).

In my case, it can reveal if I have any cranial fracture or bleeding. Initially, I did not want to entertain it. Why? If the CT Scan proves there is bleeding or cranial fracture, the course of action is to open me up - there is no medication for it. Well, that's not an option for me. So, why bother? I will have to take my chance.

Friendly Persuasion
But some caring friends who probably know what's best for me, would not take NO for an answer, even insisting to pay for it and threatening to cut ties with me if I don't go with the CT scan. I'm touched but I don't want to take their money - the universe has always provided. You guys know who you are....love you ❤! I've agreed to take the CT scan for them - not me. It's also my universe's way to taking me out of my stubborn behavior - should that be the case.

Medical Cost
I haven't been sick in years, so the cost of medical help is alien to me. It's ironic that my chosen poverty has kept me in a bubble from money matters. Had I gone through the entire process, it would rack up this much:

P1000 - consultation fee (thank God they waived this - thank you Docs!)
P1000 - medicine for the brain nerves (I didn't even get the 2nd medicine which was to alleviate the vertigo)
P4100 - CT Scan
---------
P6,100 - total, not including what else might follow (hospitalization, doctor's fees, medication, surgical fees, etc.)

I digress, but I'm thinking, "Wow, where does this leave the minimum wage earner who makes P250/day after a back-breaking 8-hour work?". What does he do when he gets sick? Where will he get the money from? No wonder people leave this country for a greener pasture. I feel my country's pain...damn politicians!

Waiting Game
For now, it's a waiting game. I don't know how long this vertigo lasts. Will this be a permanent fixture on my landscape? If so, then my life will change drastically. From the 9th-10th day, the vertigo lessened, allowing me to function a little. I have my good days and my bad days. Until I fully recover, my workout and yoga days are probably over. This might mean canceling my travel plan mid March. I don't really know what happens next. In the meantime, I'll continue my medication and self-healing.

Ending Thoughts
This was a rude awakening for me. For the last so many years, I was doing things from a position of strength, independence, empowerment and derring-do optimism - nothing was impossible. I felt strong with the power of the Big Bang behind me.

With a flip of a switch, I now face my own mortality - broken, helpless, vulnerable, weak and alone. At times, I cannot even standup without holding on to something. It is humbling.

Perhaps I need to go through this if only to gain perspective on what it's like to be on the other side - to appreciate all over again how fragile life is. Perhaps my runaway ego had to be reigned-in. My mind was racing. To what exactly do I amount to after all these years of existence? Did I just occupy space? Did I become the catalyst for all the positive changes I wanted to see on the planet? Or did I just use my freedom to pursue a hedonistic life of self-indulgence? So many thoughts flooding into my mind.

I'll go for the CT scan tomorrow. If I come out of this in one piece, it would be a new lease on life.

--- TheLoneRider
YOGA by Gigit | Learn English | Travel like a Nomad | Donation Bank

Reader Comments:

Alex Aguilar

Janice Liuson-Young

Tope Noriel Ordoñez

Korina Cordero

Clarita Sanchez

Ferd Aguilar

Enrique Bendicho

Ladylyn Montalbo-Kong

Puje Villarta

Jade Lazaga

Lora Frances Lorente

Next stop: CT Scan Result

Loboc Map

Loboc, Bohol, Philippines

tourist attractions

• Cruz Daku - 80-foot white cross erected in 1986 on top of Loboc's highest mountain
• Virgen de Guadalupe - giant statue of the Black Madonna perched on a Loboc summit
• River Cruise - river cruise on a floating restaurant serving lunch with cultural presentation
• Busay Falls - accessible only through the river cruise
• Loktob Spring - cold water spring, free admission, huts for rent
• Zipline and Cable Car Ride - at the Eco-Tourism Adventure Park

hotel

• Fox & The Firefly Cottages - SUP paddle boarding, luxury riverside native cottages, mountain bike tours, SUP yoga
• Lyn's Backpackers Inn - family-run guesthouse in the heart of Loboc

---

Bohol

»» next Slice of Life story: CT Scan Result
»» back to Slice of Life
»» back to Homepage

ARCHIVE 2024: JAN | FEB | MAR | APR | MAY | JUN | JUL | AUG | SEP | OCT | NOV | DEC

1970 | 1973 | 1975 | 1976 | 1979 | 1981 | 1996 | 2000 | 2001 | 2002 | 2003 | 2004 | 2005 | 2006 | 2007 | 2008 | 2009 | 2010 | 2011 | 2012 | 2013 | 2014 | 2015 | 2016 | 2017 | 2018 | 2019 | 2020 | 2021 | 2022 | 2023 | 2024 | ALL BLOGS