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Meditation Series
Feb 3, 2017
Forgiveness
In Pursuit of Happiness
We all want to be happy. But how many people are truly happy? Are rich people happier? Maybe not. Why is it so hard to be happy? There are many reasons. One of them is because we cannot forgive - we cannot forgive ourselves and we cannot forgive those who hurt us.
The Wrong Doers
And why is it hard forgive? Let's all be human and face it. It's not in our nature to forgive. It is not instinctive. It's not part of our genetic programming to offer the other cheek to those who hurt...who wronged us...specially if it was done deliberately and show no remore. No, it's not easy to forgive. It's a lot easier to remain angry.
Keeping the Anger
It's easier for us to imagine that we're getting even...that we had the last word...that we inflicted the same pain and suffering to this person has caused us so much grief. But when we let this anger or hatred reside within us, who suffers? This person? Perhaps not. For all we care, this person could be very happy right now while we're feeling miserable because of something this person did 5...10...15 years ago. And this wrong cannot be undone. But we remain angry. We remain miserable. Does it make sense?
The Choices We Make
As we go through life we inevitably meet people. No man is an island. And yes, some of these people will hurt us. Sometimes, even with best of intentions, shit still happens and we end up getting hurt again. But that's life. Life offers no guarantees. We have no control over these things. But we have full controll on how we deal with these misfortunes. We can either remain angry, or we can forgive. How we react is a choice we make. Let's be more aware of these choices. And let us take ownership. Let's not blame people for how they made us feel. It's our choice to feel that way.
Poison within the Body
Choosing to remain angry is to let the pain ferment and fester in our system. Most people do that. For some, it feels good. We put ourselves on a moral pedestal, claiming, "I'd been wronged, life owes me." It's a personal drama people play up. It can be addicting. That's also why some people stay in abusive relationships.
But while we're stuck with this anger, we cannot be happy. It's difficult to be happy when you harbor such bitterness inside you. It's hard to move on. Yet we carry this burden for many years or sometimes, indefinitely. Sometimes, we take it to the grave.
Why We Should Forgive
To forgive is hard. If it were easy, everybody would be forgiving. So let us forgive not for their sake, but for our sake. Forgive with no expectation of apology. Do it just because it's about us...not about this guy. Because when we forgive, we begin to heal and we put the past in its rightful place. We create space for love to shine even the most painful of places.
When we don't Forgive
When we cannot forgive, we sustain the negative bond that tethers us to that person - we eat with him, we sleep with him, spend our day with him and see him first thing when we wake up in the morning. This person who hurt us. Only forgiveness melts that chain and allows ourselves to move on, free of that person. Forgiveness gives us freedom.
Forgiveness doesn't mean what they did was ok...it means we simply let go because the past cannot be undone. Forgiveness is us giving up our intention to hurt this guy. But again, forgiveness is not easy. It is only for the strong and the brave. Because a weak person cannot forgive.
As Mark Twain said, "Forgiveness is the fragrance the flower sheds on the heel that has crushed it."
unshackling the bondage of anger through forgiveness
Sequence
- Anapana breathing meditation - always start the meditation session with Anapana to prime the mind in a meditative state. Click the link.
Forgiveness Mudra - as we remain seated in our most comfortable pose, let's put our left palm facing up on our lap, right palm facing up on our knee with fingers lying low. This is the mudra for forgiveness (Varada Mudra)- Forgiving the Self - Now, let's focus our minds on forgiveness. Before we can forgive others, let us first look within. Let us forgive ourselves first. Sometimes, we are simply too hard on ourselves. Even with the best of intentions, shit still happens. It doesn't necessarily mean someone needs to take the blame. It doesn't mean you need to take the blame. Things just happen. Forgive yourself. It's not your fault.
- Forgiving Others - forgiving other people is difficult enough. But how do you forgive someone who shows no remorse?
- Let it Go - visualize this wrong doing, bring it out of your system and set it free. Let it go. Let it go. Watch it drift away and watch it dissipate into nothingness...in full compliance to the law of impermanence.
Ending Thoughts
Despite my yoga, meditation and effort in walking the path, forgiveness is something I continue to struggle with. When we forgive, we unshacle our bondage from bitterness. The first person to benefit from our forgiveness is ourselves. Like pursuing happiness, forgiveness is also not easy. But if we want to be happy, we have to learn how to forgive.
--- Gigit (TheLoneRider)
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ps - If you want me to participate and write about your yoga studio or your yoga practice, email me. For my complete yoga profile, you can visit this page: YOGA by Gigit
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