Pondering Thoughts
May 22, 2010
No-Sex Gratification
Location 
: Dumaguete City, Negros Oriental (province), Philippines
No Sex? WTF!
How to please your partner with no sex? For that, we default to the enigmatic ways of the Japanese geisha who learns the art from childhood. Geishas have grown adept at using their silken charms to wind their men around their little fingers.
Geisha
I was having a lunch conversation with a Japanese friend at Neva's Pizza and we strayed into Japanese culture. I asked, "What exactly is a geisha?". She remarked that a geisha is a Japanese female entertainer who makes a life career catering to a man's needs (usually at a tea house or private party) without sex - so they are different from prostitutes.
A geisha starts at a young age, around 15, when she is sent to a Geisha house to start her training. This training substitutes for school. Her education is focused on graceful seduction, without the sex.
Having fun without sex? It's worth a try!
Top Dollar...no, make it Top Yen!
The service of the geisha is for the privileged rich in Japan. You think the geisha is for the rich Japanese tourist in Amanpulo? He's probably just a supervisor in Japan who enjoys the sight of a geisha from across the street. Even by Japanese standards, the service of a geisha is prohibitively priced.
Geishas have grown adept at using their silken charms to wind their men around their little fingers...to make a man think that he is the one who has the brilliant ideas
-- Hua, Julietta (2009)
No-Sex Satisfaction
I'm consumed by the no-sex satisfaction. Why? Because in this sex-crazed culture, sex has become the end-all and be-all...the deal-maker and the deal-breaker! Because in some conventional relationships, both parties feel that once they provide the sex, they've done their part in the relationship - and that's that! Well, not to generalize, but if you factor out the sex, most people may be clueless about what to do next.
Having Him by the Balls
And this is where the Geisha know-how comes into play. We're not talking simple tips here, otherwise it won't take a whole life's career to master this craft. I could imagine they can do wonders for men in ways that haven't even crossed their minds yet. Hmmm....maybe some guys don't even fully understand what their needs are...maybe a geisha can do things that would leave them dumbfounded, as in "I didn't know I needed that, but yes, I do now, and I feel happy about that." Such a woman would be priceless. And yes, such a woman would have her man by his balls too, so to speak. But hey, I'm not being a sexist here. If there is still a male geisha, I'd like to pick his brains too.
Uncharted Ground
I'm left thinking now, how else can a person please a partner if sex is not in the picture? That specter seems unchartered, but help me put some of that into a list. I'll post your comments below.
- I'm going out with someone smarter than me who doesn't make me feel stupid. Instead, she makes me feel important and needed. That's a turn-on for me. -- Norrin Rad
- My lady is perceptive about my needs and quietly goes about addressing them. Before I could ask for that favor, it's already done. It gives me face. I love her for that.
- When shit hits the fan, and she's still there with me in the trenches, she becomes endearing.
- Observing personal hygiene and keeping the place clean is satisfying.
FROM THE GIRLS (without the sex, how have you been pleased by a man?)
- hmm....paano nga ba? He often tries to make me laugh with his jokes, even if they're corny. He listens intently when it's my turn to talk about my day. He sings. -- Reina
Ending Thoughts
If a woman can truly please a man (in every conceivable way!) without the sex, can you imagine how much more Gratification it gets, when you finally add-in the sex? Hmmm...think about that! And for the women out there, if there was still such a thing, wouldn't you like to have a male geisha to reciprocate that sexless satisfaction as well? (actually, the first geishas were males, back in the 1600s).
Anyway, until we find ourselves in the company of a geisha who can demonstrate what it feels like to be the beneficiary of such intriguing service, perhaps we can all chip-in our life experiences in sharing how we've been pleased by our partners without the sex factor.
--- Gigit (TheLoneRider)
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Leave a comment?
Reader Comments:
Carina 
(May 24, 2010) I love this article, simply because this is something I've been kinda "struggling" with for a while. The no sex part is HARD. I mean sex is an expression right? I don't believe it's the end all and be all, but MEHN it counts for something. Personally, I feel a little cheated... Hell, it's not just men who have needs you know. And sorry to be crass... but you F%*K with my head you F%*k me too. My two cents.
Elai (May 24, 2010) This post makes me want to read Memoirs of A Geisfa again.
Jillian (May 23, 2010) They tell me that there are escort services here (in japan) which cater to women. My foreigner friend (blue-eyed blonde) told me he was offered this job. All he had to do was talk to a lady in some bar for a night, and then he gets paid big bucks (well, in this case big yen...but of course nowhere near the price of a geisha for an hour) for just talking with a lady, no sex involved.
TheLoneRider
(May 23, 2010) ...if the lady is interesting enough, I'll talk to her for free...the whole night...without sex!
Dindo (May 23, 2010) Intriguing! However, I have a friend in busines who's in his mid-60s who's also searching for such service provider w/o physical intimacy.
Chato (May 23, 2010) ...interesting, pa-share
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Dumaguete, Philippines
tourist attractions
Filipino Japanese Amity Memorial Shrine - 2175 feet above sea level and perched on a hilltop overlooking the sea and the neighboring islands
Casaroro Falls - pencil-narrow waterfall dropping nearly 100 feet to a wide and deep lagoon
Balinsasayao Twin Lakes - twin crater lakes 894 meters above sea level
Dumaguete Boulevard - 1km long boardwalk along the main hub of Dumaguete
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Hotel Essencia - 9-storie hotel in the heart of Dumaguete
39 Real St., Corner San Juan St., Dumaguete City - 09°18'32.1"N 123°18'20.3"E
scuba diving
Mario Scuba Diving and Homestay - homestay in Apo Island, scuba diving, restaurant
Apo Island - 09°04'40.08"N 123°16'09.19"E
Dumaguete Divers - scuba diving in Apo Island, resto / cafe, accommodation
Dauin - 9°11'18.6"N 123°15'54.3"E
cafe
Arteasan Handcrafted Beverages - coffee, tea, milk tea, frappes, waffles, sandwiches
79 San Juan St., Dumaguete City - 9°18'33.0"N 123°18'21.0"E
More Information about Dumaguete
General Travel Tips
- arrive early - in case there is a snag (visa snag, documentation snag, transport ticket snag, etc.), you will have ample time to troubleshoot the problem if you arrive early (to the airport, to the bus terminal, etc.)
- put detailed itinerary on the Calendar apps of your smart-phone according to timelines - this is where you do all your thinking and planning. Once written down, you don't have to think anymore while you are on the journey...you just follow the steps. This frees your mind for something else that might happen while you are already en route
- avoiding scams - as a general rule, I ignore the touts or anyone I don't know who call out to me. The calling comes in many forms - "Hi! Where are you from?", "Excuse me! Excuse me!", "Where are you going?". I don't look them in the eye and I remain non-verbal with them. If you reply to them, you just gave them an 'in' to hound you. In order not to look rude, I smile and wave the 'not interested' hand to them, without looking at them.
- power bank - hand-carry your power bank. Do not check it in. You can be called in when you are already inside the plane to go all the way to the loading dock so you can personally remove the power bank...and chances are, you'll have to surrender it to them. And you might delay the plane departure!
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