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lucid thoughts

April 14, 2003 Monday

Shifting sands of friendship

Lately, I've become comfortable with my friendship with Aggy. She offered to come to the Icebreaker to look after my daughter, which is something I profoundly appreciate. And like any friend dear to me, I'd go all out...even parting the Red Sea to make things go her way. I've demonstrated that in so many ways. I'd been assuming all the while that reciprocity was there. Maybe there a limited point.

In our conversation, she mentioned in no uncertain terms that she won't even attempt to learn to play "Let it be" by the Beatles on the keyboard for me to sing - not even for me, notwithstanding my unbridled excitement at the prospect of belting out my favorite song. I was shocked and dismayed to hear that. It was a very simple request. And there I was, who earlier in the day was trying to search the internet to download Rock Shox manuals so I can fine-tune her suspension, searching for top-rated locks for her bike, cutting out a discount coupon for her bike accessory purchase, freezing the rice flour bread for her to take home due to her gluten intolerance, etc. And now she's telling me that asking her to learn to play "Let it be" on the keyboard was overstepping the bounds of our friendship.

There I go again....over-extending my generosity to the point of being taken for granted. I never learn. This puts a damper on my affection for her. I value her friendship but time and time again, I am left reminded that it's more difficult than it's worth. I should have followed my earlier resolve to just move on. The friendship has come as far as it can.

Milestone's with Karen Part 2

Today is Karen's last day having been the content manager of the team for over a year. A quirky person with a bubbly personality, I've developed a fondness for her in the last few months. I guess it has something to do with the fact that I know she's leaving. I gradually appreciated her in the context of person and not colleague. I don't mind exploring the friendship further but given the tight time demands of the moment, accessibility plays a determining factor. She'll be missed. I gave her a bottle of my freshly bottled wine with "The Matrix" her delight.

Sarah cancells Pizza Nite

She didn't show up at Wine Harvest despite her earlier call to be there. Now she calls at 11:30PM to say she wants time for herself and thus won't come to Pizza Nite. I can be cool with that.

However, some people are just more difficult than they're worth. It's really best to move on. There are too many others out there whose "shared experience" need to be explored....and time remains scarce.


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