Victim by Choice

Victim by Choice

Life is not Fair
With so many seemingly inequitable balances, it's often said life is not fair. Of course it's not fair. Wouldn't it be boring if life were predictable by virtue of fairness? Good guys finish first and bad guys last? Life claims many victims and the innocent are not spared. But lets talk about the victims. Are they really victims by circumstance or more brutally, by choice?

Cashing-In Too Late
While reading a book on online trading, the author talked about this maverick trader who trades on winning bets. He watches his windfall build up but always cashes out too late. Instead of taking in the profits, he drowns in red ink. He then goes to his favorite after-work bar and tells his buddies how he made a fortune only to lose it in the last dying seconds. His buddies crowd around him in empathy.

Fair Game
The author further explains that this trader unknowingly takes what he can from the markets (and for that matter, life)...that on a subconscious level, this trader intentionally lost his trade. Bizarre? Here's where it gets crazy. By losing a winning trade, he gets a story to tell his buddies...the spotlight is on him as he talks about the big thing that got away...he gets attention as the hapless victim. His colleagues tap him on the shoulder and buy him beer. Losing the trade in exchange for the spotlight. It doesn't sound equitable. But on a subconscious level, who's to judge what's fair game?

The World Owes Me
Some people are inherently happy....only when they're sad. It seems incongruous but the more I think about it, the more it makes sense. By being sad they find moral exaltation, "...the world owes me". Therein lies the absurd feeling of importance...thus the self-inflicted drama.

The Savior Complex
Some people find themselves in abusive relationships they can't seem to get out from. Sorry for stereotyping, but I hear this too often, "...but he loves me", "...you just don't understand him", "...he needs me". It's a high price to pay to sustain a savior-complex.

Ending Thoughts
In the movie Shawshank Redemption, Morgan Freeman exclaimed the prison walls to be funny...the first few months you can't stand being within the walls. But give it a few years and you can't imagine being outside its confines.

Fear of the unfamiliar is understandable - that's why people choose to stay within their comfort zone even if they get the short end of the stick. Bad things don't look too bad once you get too familiar with it. The dirt on the wall only becomes obvious the first few looks. Look at it everyday and you don't see the dirt anymore...it becomes part of the wall.

Victim by circumstance? Sure, it happens. Moreover though, being a victim is a choice.

--- TheLoneRider

Reader Comments:

Bundukero on Survivor Philippines Castaways
(Sep 12, '08) try to read his blog entitled "Victim by Choice", mukhang masamang experience nya s Survivor. Its either namanipulate yung laro ng kung sino man or basta bwehehe. aabangan ko kung bat navote out si lonerider

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