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lucid thoughts

April 3, 2003 Thursday

Lunch with Aggy at Mcdonalds

I'm developing a new level of comfort with our friendship. It's not as precarious as before where unintended intimacies in our conversation will raise flags of restrain.

A "2 can dine for $6.99" coupon was a good excuse to get together for lunch. It was a light conversation...and fun. That's how it should be anyway.

Lyndsey and the Snow Storm

I was upset when my mother called to say Lyndsey cancelled tonight's Pizza Nite due to hazardous road conditions. I sent an no-nonsense email to Lyndsey telling her I was canceling the event altogether. I was looking forward to seeing her again and without knowing what the weather was like, I thought her excuse was at best flimsy. I was left thinking I've had it dealing with younger people...too volatile and too flaky.

I proceeded to do my back-to-back workout with yoga. The news on the radio was mayhem on the roads. Motorists were cautioned to avoid driving unless necessary. I looked out the window and snow was beginning to pile. I could not evade the embarrassment I was feeling at that point. Lyndsey made the right decision of opting out. It dawned on me I was a child throwing a tantrum. I have to honor that childishness but it's now time to make amends.

After yoga, I immediately called Lyndsey to assure her she did the right thing. I also apologized for the 'stern' email I sent her, which I was unable to recall. She was understanding and disappointed too that Pizza Nite had to wait for better days. All is well again.

I've changed a lot. If this had happened before, I would have remained stubbornly upset at the whole thing. Yoga, my fitness level, pushing boundaries wherever they lie....I can't really pinpoint...but whatever it is, it has enabled me to step back and look at the bigger picture...to see myself as a bit player in a bigger canvass and not the universe revolving around my smallness.

Yoga teacher for 15 minutes

Because of harsh icy road conditions, Kiran was late for yoga. Expectedly, I warmed up the class until she arrived.

Teaching seems to be an inviting fork on the trail for me. I seem to be at that fitness level where people are beginning to tell me I should teach yoga or the spinning class. It's definitely a new challenge. My hesitation is all about nerves...not used to it, feeling apprehensive, afraid to make a mistake. I should go back into viewing Brian Kest and David Swenson and repeating after them to verbalize yoga instructions.

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