TheLoneRider
a seeker in search of Easter Eggs

Country > Philippines > Negros Oriental > Dumaguete
Date > 2011 > November
Activity > Lucid Thoughts

Lucid Thoughts
Radical Honesty November 25, 2011

Radical Honesty

Location Google Map: Dumaguete, Negros Oriental, Philippines

Lie to Me
A friend suggested I watch the tv series, Lie to Me. It's about a guy who spent many years in the jungle with indigenous tribes and learned their system of telling if the other person is lying by looking at the other person's body language - facial expression, hesitation, muscle tension, etc. With that skill, he solves crimes and mysteries in the urban jungle, working with state and federal agencies. I absolutely loved it. Even before that, I was already a big fan of Tim Roth. I think he's one the best character actors around. But after seeing season 1, the lingering thought I had was Eli Loker's character.

Eli Loker
What makes his character unique and interesting is that he speaks his mind even if he appears rude, and calls it radical honesty - he simply will not lie. Of course, we all appreciate honesty, but how would you react if he tells you your armpit smells like fermented vinegar? or if he tells you you're a mindless dork for doing a stupid thing? Getz? It was funny and interesting on screen.

Radical Honesty
Radical honesty is being truthful. But truth hurts

Dr. Brad Blanton
I did some research on Loker's character and stumbled upon the precepts of Radical Honesty - yes, there is such a pre-existing concept. Apparently, Loker's character wasn't the first. This technique was first developed by Dr. Brad Blanton on the assumption that lying is one of the root causes of human stress. If we all decide to be radically honest, we create an intimacy that borders on Utopian because of its uncanny transparency. Often times, we weave white lies to spare the other's person's feelings. Not with radical honesty.

Real World Fit
But I wonder... How would it fit in the real world? Or can it only exist in Hollywoood? Has it been done? Would it result in broken relationships or relations fortified with acerbic truth?

Personal Subscription
Personally, I subsribe to the concept and in fact have practised it to a subtle level - not exactly what you would call radical. I've told a group mate that of all the people in the workshop, he was the only one I didn't resonate with. I also told an ex-girlfriend that I was breaking up with her because I wanted to stay in the here-and-now without cheating on her (my cheating days are over). Contrary to popular culture, I told a friend that if he's 10 minutes late, I would leave and make my own plans - I somehow never received another invite after that.

But yes, being radically honest is very difficult. But once said, you feel extremely light...as though a heavy cross was lifted off your shoulder - a liberating feeling that's worth walking away from a few relationships rooted in co-dependency or one with a low ceiling.

An Arrangement
I broached this concept with the same friend who suggested I see Lie to Me. Not surprisingly perhaps, she suggested we be on a radical honesty basis. I welcomed that. And as a first salvo on radical honesty, I told her our friendship was ideal for such an experimental undertaking. Why? Because our friendship was expendable. If this experiment boomerangs back, no one would be losing a best friend. We both smiled at that remark. Yeah, we're both on the same page and it's a promising start.

A Share
Ok, if you've practised radical honesty with anyone, how about sharing? Was it discussed first? Are you guys still talking?

The Challenge
In this local culture where confrontation is avoided and saying 'no' is expressed in a long-winded beating-the-bush kind of apologetic way, how would radical honesty fare? Are you as curious as I am about this? Are you up to it? Want to give it a try with me? Let's see where this takes us - better friends? ex-friends? unfriended friend? unliked friend? enemies? People I deal with on a day-to-day basis (neighbors, housemates, etc.) are not eligible! LOL!!!

--- Gigit (TheLoneRider)
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Reader Comments:

Anonymous
(Feb 12, 2012) My girlfriend is unbelievably radically honest with me. So unbelievable that I can imagine vividly the details of her previous sex life. So unbelievable that I know when she's falling out of love and dating another when we're still in a relationship. So unbelievable that you'll start unbelieving yourself. Is that healthy? I'm not sure. But, hey, she's still my girlfriend. Everytime she shares her thoughts and emotions or radical honesty for that matter, I just take it as a challenge on my part to react constructively. If she's starting to fall out of love then that's a time I should be rethinking how I've made her felt unlove...and so I act, at the end of the day! Is that healthy? I'm not really sure...



More on Dumaguete:

Dumaguete Map

Google Map Dumaguete, Philippines

tourist attractions in Dumaguete tourist attractions hotels in Dumaguete - hotel
  • 
Hotel Essencia Hotel Essencia - 9-storie hotel in the heart of Dumaguete
    39 Real St., Corner San Juan St., Dumaguete City - 09°18'32.1"N 123°18'20.3"E
scuba diving in Dumaguete scuba diving
  • Mario Scuba Diving and Homestay Mario Scuba Diving and Homestay - homestay in Apo Island, scuba diving, restaurant
    Apo Island - 09°04'40.08"N 123°16'09.19"E
  • Dumaguete Divers Dumaguete Divers - scuba diving in Apo Island, resto / cafe, accommodation
    Dauin - 9°11'18.6"N 123°15'54.3"E
cafes in Dumaguete cafe


Dumaguete >> Siquijor (Siquijor Proper & Larena Port) Boat Trips (as of Jan 2023)
  1. Montenegro Lines - at Dumaguete Port, P234.00/pax, P169/bicycle

  2. Montenegro Lines, Dumaguete to Siquijor

  3. Aleson Shipping - at Dumaguete Port, 8 am and 6 pm daily, 10 am M-Sat, Regular P200.00/pax, Aircon P250.00/pax

  4. Aleson Shipping, Dumaguete to Siquijor

  5. Ocean Jet - 40 mins, docks at Siquijor Port, 0919.066.5964, www.oceanjet.net, marketing@ocenajet.net

    Ocean Jet
  6. Please check first if Atlantis Yohan Express is back in operations

  7. Atlantis Yohan Express - Siquijor Port or Larena Port?

    Atlantis Yohan Express

    Atlantis Yohan Express
Dumaguete >> Lazi, Siquijor by boat

Dumaguete to Lazi, Siquijor route by Kho Shipping was just opened up in early September 2023. Before, going to Lazi meant going to Siquijor Proper first, then catching the 2pm jeep to Lazi (last trip), adding 1 hour on the trip. Now, Siquijor Proper can be completely bypassed.

  1. Dumaguete Port - take Kho Shipping to Lazi, Tu-F-Sun, 3 hours, Dumaguete departure 1 am, arrival in Lazi Port 4 am, economy P300, tourist P500.

  2. Dumaguete to Lazi


Dumaguete Itinerary restaurants Things to Eat in Dumaguete:
  • Eat at Neva's Pizza. They have a wood-burning stove and make the best pizza in Dumaguete
  • Eat the local version of Tempura, fish ball, balut at Tempurahan, an adhoc outdoor section by the City Port entrance.
  • Eat Paklay, a local delicacy made of pork inards. Popular in Dumaguete's roadside eating places
  • Try any of the lechon manok (chicken roasted on a spit) that's scattered all over the city
  • Try the torta bread (bread made with fermented coconut nectar) - you find that along the highway in Dauin...or the Dumaguete Public Market
  • Eat the breakfast combo - Budbud Cabog (Dumaguete's specialty suman) or puto + tsokolate (sticky rice wrapped in banana leaf + native chocolate drink)
tours Things to Do in Dumaguete:
sightseeing Sightseeing / Activities Near Dumaguete:
  1. Valencia
    1. Forest Camp in Valencia - a mountain resort fed by the Banica River. Great for getting wet and picnics (blog by Lakwatsero)
    2. Go to the Japanese Shrine and Casaroro Falls - 100 meter falls and site of a fierce WWII battle between Japanese, Americans and Filipinos
    3. Head out to Camp Lookout in Valencia for great views. Famous writers stay there for the Silliman University National Writers Workshop.
    4. Stop by The World War II Museum in Valencia and talk to curator/owner/collector, Constantino "Tantin" Cata-al.
    5. Splash on Pulangbato Falls and Hot Spring - via Palinpinon road towards PNOC. Great to dip-in after a day's hike or for hot lazy days
    6. Climb Mt. Talinis. At 1864 meters, it lords over Negros Oriental, and home to endemic and rare species of flora and fauna.
  2. Dauin
    1. Dive on Apo Island - best for scuba and turtle watching
    2. Dive on Dauin's District 1 Marine Reserve - best spot for snorkelling - 10K grouper, turtles, cuttlefish, Titan Triggerfish, etc. This is only one of many marine reserves dotting the Dauin coastline.
    3. Soak in Baslay Hot Spring
  3. Sibulan
    Go to Balinsasayao Twin Lakes - two lakes almost 1000 meters above sea level
  4. Siquijor
    Take the ferry to Siquijor - stay in Siquijor overnight
  5. Zamboanguita
    Visit Malatapay Market on a Wednesday and try their lechon, tuba, and grilled fish
  6. Bais
    Go dolphin watching and swim on the sandbar
  7. Mabinay
    Rappel down Mabinay Caves
  8. Siaton
    Experience Lake Balanan


Onward Destinations After Dumaguete

These are the nearest popular destinations from Dumaguete by boat

  1. Bohol - Bohol is an island northeast Dumaguete. Tourist attractions are Chocolate Hills, Tarsier Monkey, Loboc River Cruise, Beaches of Panglao, whale sharks (recent offering), freediving (recent offering)
  2. Cebu - Cebu City is the usual gateway into the Visayas. But in Cebu Island itself, there are many offerings - Whale Sharks of Oslob, sardine run at Moalboal,Thresher Shark of Malapascua
  3. Dapitan (Zamboanga del Norte) - I haven't been there but a lot of island ferries ply this port. There must be something here.
  4. Plaridel (Misamis Occidental, Mindanao) - I haven't been there but a lot of island ferries ply this port. There must be something here.

Blog

Dumaguete Dumaguete

2023

  • Shopping in Dumaguete July 21-23, 2023
  • Overnight in Dumaguete Feb 5-6, 2023
  • 2017

  • 11 Days in Dumaguete Apr 23-May 4, 2017
  • 2015

  • Revisiting Dumaguete with Tuyen June 5-9, 2015
  • 2012

  • Fun Time in Dumaguete at Harolds Mansion Sep 6-13, 2012
  • Dumaguete Deja Vu August 2-11, 2012
  • Dumaguete 'Must Experience' Article on SideTrip Magazine Jul 1, 2012
  • Goodbye Dumaguete April 25, 2012
  • Not Thinking Big Enough February 11, 2012
  • 2011

  • Radical Honesty November 25, 2011
  • A Quantum Conversation Nov 14, 2011
  • Dumaguete Travel Info, Map and Itinerary Oct 16, 2011
  • Fitting In Oct 9, 2011
  • Water Bucket Riddle Oct 8, 2011
  • Dr. Angel C. Alcala Sep 30, 2011
  • 7th Philippine Bird Festival Sep 23-24, 2011
  • Blood Pressure Guy Sep 5, 2011
  • Truth, Anyone? Sep 1, 2011
  • Painitan Breakfast Aug 6, 2011
  • The Harolds Mansion Experience Jul 31 - Aug 21, 2011
  • Of Motivation and Being Poor Jul 2, 2011
  • Rant About Blogging Jul 1, 2011
  • In Pursuit of a Hit-and-Run Driver Apr 25, 2011
  • Building Wealth from Within Apr 12, 2011
  • DACA Graduation and Casablanca Anniversary Party Apr 8, 2011
  • Silver Surfer Mar 14, 2011
  • In Search of the Weakest Linkk Mar 10, 2011
  • The Lamborghini Benchmark Mar 9, 2011
  • Stovetop Carrot Bread Mar 5, 2011
  • Big and Bold Feb 1, 2011
  • Grilled Pizza on the Weber Grill Jan 31, 2011
  • Kri - Resto Review Jan 28, 2011
  • Turning Point Jan 21, 2011
  • Creative Spark Jan 6, 2011
  • New Year Rain Ride Jan 1, 2011
  • 2010

  • 2010: A Year in Review Dec 31, 2010
  • Wealth Building with a Little Help from my Friends Nov 28, 2010
  • Riding with the Downhill Boyz Nov 23, 2010
  • 7 Months in Negros Oriental - The Aftermath Nov 17, 2010
  • 7 Months in Negros Oriental - Swallowing Hard Nov 14, 2010
  • No Fault Nov 10, 2010
  • The Silent Type Nov 9, 2010
  • Of Money and of Being Broke Nov 1, 2010
  • Aha! Moments Oct 24, 2010
  • You're Smart! Oct 7, 2010
  • Negros Oriental Real Estate Website Sep 28, 2010
  • Back to Yoga Sep 20, 2010
  • Nomadic Existence: A Return to the Default World Sep 19, 2010
  • The Return of the Silver Streak Sep 10, 2010
  • Nomadic Existence: A Rethinking Aug 8, 2010
  • Fun Ride with Rene's Silver Streak Bike Jul 15, 2010
  • At Random TV Interview with Aesha Villanueva Jul 6, 2010
  • Eco Adventure Race 2010, Dumaguete July 3, 2010
  • Night Ride with the ONEbikers Jul 2, 2010
  • Pintados - Body Paint Fashion Show Jun 20, 2010
  • Rene's Chicken Inasal with the QB Stove Jun 6, 2010
  • Life Altering Experiences Jun 1, 2010
  • The Puppy May 27, 2010
  • The Hare-Lipped Baby May 25, 2010
  • Neva's Pizza Apr 28, 2010
  • Dumaguete Apr 12, 2010

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