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Jul 31, 2011

Goodbye Valencia

Blind-Sided
Just as I was settling down and getting my bearing in my guest house in Valencia from a month-long of backpacking up north, something happened from out of the blue that made it clear to me to pack up again in search of a new home. Given the immediacy of this move and the uncertainty I'm faced, it was the metaphorical rug that was pulled again from underneath me...story of my life! I was left frantically looking for a quick band-aid remedy for a roof over my head and to put order in the chaos running wild inside my headspace.

Deja Vu
To the uninitiated, this curve-ball could come as a shock. But this is not the first time it happened to me. In retrospect, it might even be the norm and not the exception. It's simply a repeating pattern I've seen so many times before. I cannot deny the epidermal chaos, but deep within, I knew that my benevolent universe is once again blazing a path for me like it has violently done in the past - yes, violent (not physically) as in upheaval - a nasty divorce that separated me from my kids, a sibling marker-issue that made me walk away from my father's house, a psycho issue that caused me and an ex-girlfriend to find our own place, another marker-psycho issue that pulled me away from an otherwise endearing friendship, etc. Don't ask me why. But I'm not putting blame here - it can't keep happening to me without having anything to do with me.

Clutter Clearing
When this happens, staying real is my only assurance that all will end well no matter how much shit hits the fan. I'm already aware that sometimes, shit has to happen first to clear the clutter and pave a way for new beginnings. I knew right from the start that Valencia, as beautiful as it is, was a temporary station. But I didn't expect things to happen this fast and without warning.

Logistics
My otherwise calm demeanor was betrayed by logistical nightmares. I'm still not done with my one-year contract on the phone lines and internet...I stood to pay a P7500 penalty! Where do I sleep? Where do I stash my things? I have deadlines to meet...with no internet, that's a big problem. From a placid day before, now my world came crashing down.

Blue Printed
With the way things unfolded in the coming days, it would seem like this entire process has already been blue-printed at the outset...really uncanny. Little pieces just started fitting together. Little did I expect I'd end up at Harolds Mansion - I would be staying there for 3 happy weeks (more on that in the next blog). On the 3rd week, a room in a lovely apartment would become vacant and I'd be sharing the unit with a housemate! My things were accommodated in my future place for storage until I move-in. My internet/phone lines were reconnected to my new future address (with a minor reconnection fee). In the meantime, I was free to use the wifi at Harolds Mansion. All my issues were somehow miraculously addressed! I was one happy camper.

My White Knight
As I gained clarity of mind, it became increasingly clear why this had to happen - I asked for it. As lovely as Valencia is, I can't really say I was happy. Ever had a beautiful girlfriend you didn't resonate with? That's more or less the story. I would often find myself hurting for interaction...and there would be none. The isolation would sometimes get to me. The extended solitude made me question a lot of sound things. But I couldn't break away from the gridlock. Like a white knight who always comes to my rescue, my universe (commonly called God by the faithful) forged the change - like it has repeatedly done in the past. It's also an assurance I'm still in the Flow. Now, I start a new chapter feeling optimistic about things to come.