October 15, 2008
Location: Quezon City - Sagada, Philippines
A female friend with whom I've gone out a few times confides that she gets hits from guys every time, and almost every time, it's with the same unrefined ambush. Example? A guy offers to take her home with a goodbye kiss being a benign peck on the cheek. The guy gives her an unexpected smack accompanied by a frustrated tongue-action. Or a guy can simply offer the comfort of his air-conditioned car for 'cooling down' on a hot evening. Yeah, you guessed it...a friendly conversation and before she knows it, the guy's lips are already pressed against hers.
Even if it's not that crude, given the no-accountability of having a few drinks, the guy comes on for sex as in NOW NOW NOW. Another friend confides that when drinking with guys, she gets a text from the guy in front of her asking, "you like?"(in fairness though, I have an acquaintance who prefers this gray area). I was told as well that it is rare for a man to make an effort to get to know her better (as in having a decent conversation) before getting his hands all over her. This is corroborated by other female friends.
As a refreshing contrast in this day and age of sex-on-demand, I've become privy to an intimate, affectionate and witty communication between 2 yakapmates who obviously find pleasure teasing each other. I have full permission to post the dialogue provided real identities are concealed.
They met briefly late August but 5 minutes into the conversation, got a sense they wanted to explore the other further.
Sep 1 (email)
Lady: ...good to meet you last Saturday. I read your writing...quite fascinating. Can you be my guru?
Guy: Likewise, it was good meeting you this weekend. Guru? ha-ha. You flatter me. I'm in search of a guru myself...or someone (preferably bigger than life...lol) who'll take me under his/her fold. Join me for coffee if you have time. I get a sense we have much to talk about.
Lady: Coffee and conversation would be nice
Sep 18 (email)
Lady: i found myself in the silence of our dining table. my thoughts were free to wander like kitchen mice. i thought of you living in the mountains and i imagined what it would be like at the close of the day. a pottery wheel! to be guiding the earth with your hands as your mind slows. ah, and maybe some music in the background and a muddied glass of wine. in the day i imagine writing on sheets of loose paper on a wooden crate outdoors. on the balcony of terraces, like an opera house for the sun. in the late afternoon, long walks. waving to passersby. the thoughts were delicious. hope you're living as romantic a life as it was my pleasure to imagine :)
Guy: Poignant my dear...allow me to add more...fresh squeezed orange juice in the morning, croissant still warm from the oven, coffee with grated chocolate, morning-harvest coconut...and a lot of love as a finishing touch.
A scenic bus ride is all it takes to make this imagination a reality...not too many wonderful things in life are that accessible.
Oct 1 (text, upon learning the guy is coming over to Manila)
Lady: Joy and anticipation for your arrival :) May I reserve either your Monday or Wednesday evening? I'm booked all other days.
Guy: You can't imagine how much I relish your self-assured invite. The joy and eager anticipation being with you Wednesday night is all mine.
Lady: :) Smileys have never seem this understated. See you soon, leave your carapace. :)
Guy: I don't need to bring one. I know I'm in good hands.
They meet again for a beer...maybe two. Guy kisses her hand.
Lady: what was that for?
Guy: I don't question feelings...I just follow them. Did that scare you?
Guy proceeds to kiss the forearm, then the elbow, then the shoulder.
Lady: ok, you can stop there. i'm now scared.
Guy: done. was that a rush for you?
Lady: i actually liked it
Oct 7 (YM)
Guy: ha-ha...found your Achilles' Heel....Mwah, nible, nible, mwah...are you hurting enough? Good morning my dear
Lady: double "b" darling. niBBle :)
Guy: ha-ha...too early for me
Lady: nice to know a button huh? we'll work on that
Guy: amongst many I presume....I like exploring
Lady: me too :) till it gets scary
Guy: Yeah, I got a rush crossing your demarcation line where exciting discomfort morphed into a red flag...somewhere between your elbow and shoulder...ha-ha
Lady: hahahaha. yeah. that was a thrill. i'm happy you enjoyed the ride
Guy: it's your turn next time to find out what my buttons are...yeah, it's a dare.
Lady: ahh.. i like
Guy: I know, but how far will you go? I give you full liberties.
Lady: i'm not having sex with you
Guy: hmmm....that never really crossed my mind...not with last night.
Lady: really? it was that clear :)
Guy: a near-fright caused by a peck on the shoulder? ha-ha...you got issues. Sex is NOT on the horizon for you. NO worries.
Lady: acclimatization. what does the horizon look like? and so what does your question mean?
Guy: the horizon is to be experienced...not looked at. It's not a question but a statement...that a peck on the shoulder caused a near-fright and yes, it was that clear.
Lady: i find a pattern to my experiences. i enjoy discovering the boundaries. i enjoyed that peck on the shoulder. near fright sends me a-tumble but so what? i don't know how far i will go. like you said, it's to be experienced.
Oct 8 (text)
Guy: Good morning, still in bed feeling lazy to rise up. Would have been great to have you here to hug with... not sex, just hugs as we talk about random thoughts.
Lady: Mmmm warm and fuzzy feeling. I feel held by you with those words. Thank you. With tenderness, freedom and love :)
Oct 10 (email)
Lady: it is a beautiful gray and wet morning in manila. i would love nothing more than to be trading random hugs, thoughts, dares and nibbles with you. what i realize, is that i would like to know you... what brings you joy, pain, fear and peace. who are you and how is life coursing through your being? little by little... enough to savor each bit. ah my spirit is aloft at the thought :)
Guy: Trading? Reciprocity! Hmmm....sign of progress. I take it, you'll take initiative of the things that bring out the most discomfort in you...as I continue with the progressive nibbling beyond the "wall"...across the arid mindscape of imagined fright....until that invisible line is crossed and you involuntarily utter...."enough!" (followed by a heavy sigh as you catch your breath).
I give you the privilege of time.....however long it takes...but offer good while supply lasts....ha-ha.
Of course, with just a few keyboard strokes, I can ask if you're free on such day or time, but it's never as good as when it comes from you.
In your most unintended and unknowing way, you brighten up my day...always.
...with all my pecks and nibbles above your elbow line...Mwah!
Oct 13 (text)
Lady: i was just thinking about you. the whole weekend! haha.
Guy: pleasant thoughts i hope? Would you like to share them?
Lady: of course pleasant thoughts. Like wanting to kiss you. Like planting my lips on your palm. Like enjoying being with you.
Oct 14 (text)
Lady: I'm on my way for a sex and intimacy seminar :-) Isn't that rich? Tell you all about it soon.
Guy: Wanna take me with you?
Lady: We can do homework
Guy: Hmmm...I think I like that better. Enjoy school. Wait! What am I here for? Yeah, what am I? Chopped liver?
Lady: Darling, you're dessert. ha-ha. Celebrity liver. Whatta thought.
Guy: Ah...from chopped liver to foie gras!
Lady: ah...good one.
Guy: With this tete-a-tete, sex might be a let down. Let's draw the line at sniffing armpits.
Lady: My thoughts exactly. What are you doing with a woman half your age?
Guy: same reason you have for doing with a guy twice your age.
Lady: Bleh. You're so not an intellectual. 8-)
Oct 15 (text)
Lady: I think you'd definitely get a kick out of what I learned last night. My probable almost certain future: barking not biting...ha-ha.
Guy: My dear, barking is your present. The future remains to be drawn.
Lady: ha-ha...I really really like you.
Oct 16 (email)
Lady: i remember calling you up october 5 saying that to me, we are beyond constraints and beyond definition. i still relish that possibility and i delight in the strange reality by which it is being manifested.
Guy: I celebrate this day on a blank slate, anchored but free to drift wherever the tide takes me.
Lady: it is funny because i am not sure we click.
Guy: I know for a fact we click. Of course, tomorrow's another day.
Lady: i feel like we are two pieces of matter, similar but also very different. i listen to its echoes in my heart beneath the noise of my mind, listening for truth.
Guy: ....every life a different story, a different truth. Hopefully, we come across a common truth.
Oct 26 (text) Guy apologizes for not going to make it for the afternoon escapade.
Lady: Ah unmet expectations! I'll live :-) but I shall enjoy your making it up to me.
Guy: Ask for the moon and I shall climb the highest peak to take me closer.
Lady: You're sweet. Have I ever told you that? :-) Now I want to kiss you.
Guy: You just did.
Oct 26 (text)
Lady: I am lying on a park bench watching the dusk. The fading yellow and the monet clouds. The planets that don't blink. Wishing we could share this silence.
Oct 27 (email, after she checks TheLoneRider.com and finds out the Oct. 26 text was already posted)
Lady: darling, i didn't know this conversation is a live feed on TheLoneRider.com
Guy: ha-ha...I'll tell TheLoneRider the buck stops at Oct. 27.
Oct 27 (text) Lady reconsidered favorably about further posting on this site. They were to meet same place, a different time.
Lady: There is a 57.3% chance I might arrive 15 minutes late.
Guy: Then there is a 42.7% chance you'll be on time...the glass is half-full.
Lady: I don't believe in probabilities.
Guy: Then the probability of you arriving late does not exist.
Lady: I don't believe in logic either.
Guy: With neither logic nor probability, what's left?
Lady: the present
Oct 28 (text)
Lady: ...my lips still remember yours. The memory softens its corners and teases them. When have you decided to leave Manila?
Guy: As Murphy's Law would have it, my Manila stay has once again been extended.
Lady: Thank God for Murphy! I'd like to steal you for a couple of hours for dinner. I want you for myself between 5 and 8.
Guy: Name the place and I shall be there.
Lady: ha-ha-ha :-) Shall we do this dance everytime my dear?
Guy: I can't help it...I'm a Libran.
Nov 2 (text)
Lady: Good night dear, I loved being with you today. Thank you. I look forward to afternoon wine and listening to I.D.M. And waking up in your arms one morning. Till then...
Nov 3 (text)
Guy: ...just whiling away the time 'til the event starts. Reading up my cell Inbox, your messages. You say things with such affection, grace and tenderness. If I left them unanswered, it's only because my muted joy got the better of my writing.
Lady: My heart made a little jump. Mmmmm...I shall thank you for this message in a different currency. :-) I loved the way you said it by the way. And I relish the thought.
Dec 26 (text) Lady went out of town
Guy: miss you...am leaving tonight. Manila just got dull without you
Jan 18 (chat)
Guy: ...you'll love the new saddle on the fun bike...it'll feel like my palms are supporting your butt-cheeks
Lady: ooh nice
Guy: hey...that just turned me on
Lady: me too...haha, gotta try that
Guy: I'd rather have my hands there now, than the saddle
Lady: mmm the thought feels just right
Guy: darn....Feb 3 is light years away
Lady: yeah. been feeling that too
Guy: ...alone on a cold empty bed. Where on God's green earth is my Goddess?
Feb 3 (chat)
Lady: my dear, you make me smile
Guy: among other things I suppose
Lady: I will see you the first week of March instead.
Guy: oh....you won't be coming end of this week after all. I should keep my expectations in check.
Lady: most of me wants to go to the refuge I've found in your company. Oh how I miss you.
Guy: we'll make up for lost time
Lady: what an obstruction this screen seems
Guy: I see it as our umbilical cord.
Lady: I want to put my arms around you
Guy: as I do mine
Lady: I shall see you in March and look forward to my dreams in between :)
Feb 17 (email)
Guy: ...I've learned a few things about us lately....that I do miss you (perhaps I even love you, but in denial...dunno), that absence makes the heart grow fonder but only to a point. Beyond that, things can begin to fade away into distant memory. Seeing you again has taken forever. Notwithstanding, I count the remaining days til I hug you one more time..
Feb 27 (text)
Guy: So, what do you say when people ask you if you're married...aside from 'no'?
Lady: I say that when I am, I'll bring him to meet everyone :)
Apr 18 (email)
Lady: i wish i were in your arms already. i want to fly right there from the airport. i just wanna bury my face in your neck and cry. if it doesn't kill you, it makes you stronger? ...and perhaps i've been projecting my self-judgement and intolerance at the world...questions on intimacy, honesty and purpose...whatever love i can squeeze out of me, i send to you. P.S. can you borrow the weber?
Guy: (bubble thought) huh? that's quite a long preamble for a barbeque grill!
May (over breakfast)
Guy: Years from now, we'll look at this episode with fondness. How we savor our hearty breakfast from a small camp stove, cook with our little cookset, squeeze ourselves in a cramped space....
Lady: (nostalgic) Ah....that reminds me of the time when my family just moved to a new house... no furniture, no maids, just ham for breakfast...
Guy: (amused and irreverent) Ham? Did you say ham? ha-ha-ha ...your idea of hard times? You're too funny. Had you said 'coco jam' (matamis na bao) on your pan de sal (traditionally poor man's bread), I would have empathized. But ham? ha-ha. That's rich people food, my dear.
Lady: (obviously annoyed) Well, if you had just listened to the point of my story...
Guy: (affectionately reconciliatory) ...somebody's getting pertuuuuuuurbed! If we're having a fight, I can't wait 'til we get to the kiss-and-makeup part.
May 7 (text)
Lady: My dear, I want to say with words how lovely I feel, how the bliss arises in the midst of rain, for the gift of holding you briefly, kissing you goodbye with a smile. How sweet it is to be loved by you.
Guy: I'm just thankful to be breaking bread with you before I head out to what the day has in store for me...until the next hug.
May 13 (conversation)
Lady: Without spooking you, perhaps we can talk about things discussed in the book I'm reading now.
Guy: Like what?
Lady: Commitment. How do you feel about it?
Guy: I avoid it like a plague but I'm drawn to you. That much I know.
And with that conversation, they became a couple.
(May 13, 2009) I don't know how it's like for those testosterone guys out there, but if you're not really hurting for sex (maybe you're getting it elsewhere), I'd leave it at status-quo. Why? Conversation at that level doesn't happen everyday - trust me, I'm a social animal in search of engaging conversation from everyone with a story to tell. When sex ultimately happens, the sexual tension goes away. More often than not, the restrained sexual tension is the real deal. The actual sex, specially if it doesn't measure up to the intellectual exchanges, may even disappoint.
Yeah, I'm with the guy...draw the line at sniffing armpits.
April (the Guy moves to a distant place)
May 18 (text)
Lady: I've been crying. I feel like this won't last.
Guy: You mean us?
Lady: I feel like what we truly want lie in different directions and this is a compromise that doesn't satisfy either of us.
Guy: Are you breaking up with me?
Lady: How do you feel about us? Is it just me?
Guy: I've known that the whole time. It's not just you.
Lady: Should we break up?
Guy: Maybe it's best. But I would like to keep the friendship.
Lady: Me too. It hurts because I really do love you.
Guy: I love you too. I still do. And I will for a long time. But we both know what's best right now.
Lady: I'm just crying. I don't think I'll have anything to say for a while.
And with that conversation, they ceased being a couple.
"Conversations" on TheLoneRider.com
Reader Comments:Noery Mae Lerin
(Mar 13, 2013) Aww, this made me giggle, smile and the last line gave me teary eyes!!! Sooo romantic. Thanks for sharing!!! This is just so sweet that I can't help telling you super galing!!!
(Jun 1, 2010) It's quite a feat for a couple to separate as friends, and it's good that you've been able to do so.
(May 29, 2010) hey dear, i kinda heard from someone who read your post that you love birds broke up...awww, i still can remember our conversation at the center about attraction, love....and love?
(May 20, 2010) wat?? how come?
(May 20, 2010) what?? where is goddess?
(May 18, 2009) I'm so happy for the 2 of you. It reminds me how exiciting and mind-blowing things can be at the beginning. Good luck, good vibe...I wish you more good times, growth, love, team work, patience...
(Jun 29, 2009) I'm reading your Flirty Conversation. Romantic indeed. Hehehe!
(May 19, 2009) So what happened on May 13, 2009?
(May 4, 2009) Oh dear, I finally read Flirty Conversation. Hmmm, I could vividly imagine it, and feel it. It truly brings one back to life. It spices and inspires. My tummy was filled with butterflies while reading it. Can we have more? he-he.
"NOSEBLEEEEED!!!! comatose na ako dun sa oct 5 pa lang."
(Dec 10, 2008) I agree, super nosebleed :) I'm sure you're the guy. Aminin!!
(Nov 20, 2008) Not only do i agree, i am positively envious! why is it that i always get to meet the testosteronic ones? Hmmn..you got me thinking there, LoneRider...Im happy for you Guy and Lady.
"The actual sex, specially if it doesn't measure up to the intellectual exchanges, may even disappoint."
(Nov 10, 2008) interesting. i do quite agree, but i'm not quite sure about sniffing armpits..
"I'm sure you're that guy and the girl is...Patani!"
(Nov 7, 2008) I've already read some articles, about Survivor Philippines of course, and Flirty conversation. I laughed at one of the comments about the "yakapmates" saying that the guy in the article is really you and the lady is Patani. After this I'll be reading on your "A Midas Touch".
(Oct 28, 2008) ha-ha..it's so hard...can't imagine the feelings when a girl teases a guy, and the guy falls for all her charm...until he knows he wants her, and she makes pakipot...but hopefully, they end up in bed na, for real..hehehe. I'm sure you're that guy and the girl is...Patani!
(Oct 28, 2008) parang haiku yung conversation, napansin niyo ba?
"but isn't sexual tension and the anticipation of it all WAY better than actual sex??"
(Oct 28, 2008) talaga nmn all caps p ang WAY!!! hehe sobrang layo nun ah hehe :)
(Oct 27, 2008) puge!!! but isn't sexual tension and the anticipation of it all WAY better than actual sex?? madidisappoint ka lang minsan eh - galeng galeng makipaglandian, lousy pala :P
(Oct 26, 2008) hmm ibang level ah, Do i know who these 2 people are? ;)
"NOSEBLEEEEED!!!! comatose na ako dun sa oct 5 pa lang."
(Oct 25, 2008) hahahaha :))
(Oct 25, 2008) NOSEBLEEEEED!!!! comatose na ako dun sa oct 5 pa lang.
(Oct 25, 2008) goodness, the lady is both lovely and brilliant, or at least that's how she comes across in those eloquent texts and emails. such fun conversations they have! he's one lucky dude! :D
"the restrained sexual tension is the real deal"
(Oct 24, 2008) I sooo agree! I just love their text exchanges! They're such as turn on! Thanks for sharing their conversation.
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